Martin's Horse

Now, because I think that rhythm is the key to everything:

rhythm in attitude,
rhythm in attention,
rhythm in execution,
rhythm in consummation,
rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.

Rhythm runs the whole swingin' gig.

And for that reason I think this is a very interesting, and true, story.

And it's about a young man, it's a great rider in the race track.
My favorite jockey. His name is Martin. And he's here tonight.

I want to tell you a fantastic story about him.

You know, every jockey that rides a horse,
besides having certain methods to expedite the speed of the horse
also has a certain way of talking to him.

And you know what they talk to them about?


That's what they talk...


What do you think? What else? Right?

I'm talking the essence and the beauty of the sense, of course.

This little jockey, this nice little man, got to the track early one morning
and he booked the favorite, Butterfly Nell.

And his manager got there a short time after him and booked the dog, Joey.

So he was the manager.....

So he had to take his tight little buttocks off the favorite and put it on the dog.

Isn't that right, Mister Martin? Right.

And he told me that when the field broke he looked,
the first thing he sees is the horses goin' around the end of the track,
because this Joey was the type and kind of a horse that was so sensitive
and so electronically fixtured in his dimensions and vibrative rep
that you couldn't touch him.

Couldn't touch him.

You touch him, he'd flip. He'd fall over.

I don't know what the hell, he'd take off! Pugnacious, you see.

So, in translating the sound that Martin put down on this horse with this fantastic result...

Now, get this picture - this horse is lost.
Everyone fogot about him.
Forgot about him, he was so far behind.

But Martin lays the scene on him.
He tells him, "Baby, man, I've ridden a lot of horses in my life,
but I'm gonna tell you something,
ooouuuhhh, this saddle, oh, it feels so good.
You got such a nice rhythm, baby, it's so beautiful -


Said, "I'm gonna tell you something.
I thought I'd ridden some horses before in my life, but,"
he said, "I'll tell you this truth, so help me God,
I'll never ride another horse but you as long as I race on the track.
It's wonderful!

Said, "Oh, man, this is a great service. This is a great kick.
This is a great charge. How ignorant can a man be of the powers of horse flesh
that I know, that a jewel like you were in the stables there
with no name, no publicity, no nothing. You're beautiful, baby.

"So, baby," he said, "I don't care what they say. This'll be the first time.
This'll crack every paper in the nation, baby. I don't care what they say!
So help me God, I mean this baby, that if we win this race,
I can see you goin' down the aisle with me, arm in arm!
I don't care what they say!
I'll marry you!

You know he wound up the the longest odds
in the history of the state of California racing by a nose!

Take a bow, Martin.

From Buckley's Best, World Pacific Records, transcribed by EARL RIVERS