His Majesty the Policeman

I got to thinking about His Majesty, The Policeman, see. I figured that must be the draggiest job in the world. And what a drag it is going out on a good day. You're feeling really good. You're riding along and your squad car is all polished up, you know what I mean? And you're feeling real mellow. Along comes some poor stud with a - loaded with kids, like flower pots all over the place. Going a little too fast, you know what I mean. You've got to stop the cat. You've got to bring him down and lay one on him. It's a pretty tough job and when you walk up to him you don't know whether they're going to pull out a French seventy-five or what-the. It's a drag. So, I wrote a little thing called:


His Majesty, The Policeman,
He's the children's friend at every bend, The Policeman
And you can bet your life, he's hip to Mack the Knife
That's His Majesty, The Policeman

You should never trip a policeman
Or try to hip or even tip a policeman
Get a ticket to the ball and you can't fight city hall
That's His Majesty, The Policeman

So remember their nobility
They're here, they're there, they're everywhere it's mobility
You can look near and far but they'll pin you by radar
That's Their Majesty, The Policeman

Here they come – hoo beh dee boop
The Man In Blue – hah bee de bop
The Sargent's there - ribbitty bip
The Patrolman too - hah bee de bop
The Chief looks great - hah bee de bop
The Captain's straight - ribbitty bip
Hip Hip Hurray - da da da dah
The Royal Crew - hah beh de bop beh dee bop

You always try to swing with a policeman
And never ring-a-ding a policeman
And if you're really hip you'll never make a slipAgainst Their Majesties, The Policemen

from "The Bad Rapping Of The Marquis De Sade" transcribed by Michael Monteleone