His Majesty the Pedestrian

The Pedestrian is a love song to the people. And it happened one time we were driving down Hollywood Boulevard. And we had a rather fashionable car and there were Rolls Royces to the right and there were Jaguars to the left and all of a sudden vrrrpppttt the whole line had to stop. So, I looked around the corner to see what the hang up was. And I saw one little pedestrian, hinka da dink, dink ka da dink, dink ka da dink. So, I looked at this cat and I figured he must be a very important man to stop this whole parade. So I did a little research on him and found out he built the buildings, he built the bridges, he built the airplanes, he built all the fine cooking recipes, he even built the automobiles that were trying run him down. So, I thought it would be nice if we said a little love song for him. So, it goes like this:

His Majesty the Pedestrian
He's the king of every boulevard in question.
When his toes tap the crosswalk
You must be quiet, don't even talk
That's His Majesty the Pedestrian.

You must never hit, ewww! a pedestrian
Be he north or east or south or a wester'n
For he'll sue you black and blue
And he'll sue your lawyer too
That's Their Majesties the Pedestrian.

Say, remember that nobility
The swinging kings and queens of the utility.
If you are right you were wrong
And you'll never ring the gong
Against the Majesties the Pedestrian

Here they come, who beh dee doop
Bill and Joe, ha deh beh bop
And what do you know, hibehdee bip
The so and so, hah deh beh bop
And mom and pop, deh ewww deh ewww
And gramp and Sue da da da da
And swingin' behind, flippity flap
Their little boy blue, heh whoo heh whooo heh whoooo

You'll never win a case against a pedestrian
It's truly unruly, completely out of the question
And if you're really wise
You'll solid keep your eyes
Upon Their Majesties the Pedestrian

from "Studs Terkel Interview With Lord Buckley 1958" Transcribed by Michael Monteleone